


The Pros and Cons of Aiding Crime

by strangelysweet



Series: strangelysweet's AUctober [2]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Actual Phantom Thieves (Persona 5), Alternate Universe - No Powers, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Attempt at Humor, Bad Flirting, Blood and Injury, Detective Akechi Goro, F/F, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Human Morgana (Persona Series), M/M, but a good human morgana, elaborate ploys to hire someone onto your team, keyword - attempt, maybe i should just stick to horror/angst/general :(, strangelysweet's AUctober, they're both complete disasters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:21:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27251128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strangelysweet/pseuds/strangelysweet
Summary: Goro is on the trails of some incredibly wily thieves who just shot up a bank. He is currently weighing up the details in his head on an imaginary whiteboard.On the side that holds the information that he does know, he has listed four undeniable truths:- There are at least four of them currently residing in the motel beside the gas station.- They're armed to the teeth.- They don't know that Goro is here.- One of them is very, very attractive.Meanwhile, he has a lot of notes on the side of the imaginary whiteboard that contains all of the things he doesn't know. He doesn't have all day, so he'll narrow it down to five:- The entire building plan of the motel, including fire exits and ventilation shafts.- If there are any more of the thieves in here.- What they look like.- If the desk clerk is an accomplice. If not, whether or not she can be charged for obstruction because she is really testing his patience.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist, Niijima Makoto/Takamaki Ann, Okumura Haru/Sakamoto Ryuji
Series: strangelysweet's AUctober [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1965229
Comments: 8
Kudos: 45





	The Pros and Cons of Aiding Crime

As he drums his fingers on the counter of the gas station, Akechi Goro wonders if he gets paid enough for his job. The life of a police-commissioned detective is certainly not as exciting as the police drama TV shows would have you believe. His wage is barely past laughable, the insurance isn't worth it, and, worst of all, Goro still gets treated like a rookie. Although he may be turning twenty-two in a few months, he has wisdom beyond his years and a vendetta to match. If he gets the right evidence, he could finally put his boss (and father, unfortunately) behind bars. Case closed, end credits roll, et cetera, et cetera, ad infinitum. 

Of course, he doesn't have that evidence yet, and duty calls. Goro is on the trails of some incredibly wily thieves who just shot up a bank. He is currently weighing up the details in his head on an imaginary whiteboard. 

On the side that holds the information that he _does_ know, he has listed four undeniable truths:

  1. There are at least four of them currently residing in the motel beside the gas station, and all of them are visibly injured. 
  2. They're armed to the teeth. 
  3. They don't know that Goro is here. 
  4. One of them is very, _very_ attractive.



He pictures striking a line through that last one in red pen. Yes, their leader _may_ be charismatic, and attractive, and in possession of a very, very nice butt, but that is _beside the point_! He needs to focus. If they evade capture for the third time, his superiors will start asking questions. 

Meanwhile, he has a lot of notes on the side of the imaginary whiteboard that contains all of the things he doesn't know. He doesn't have all day, so he'll narrow it down to five: 

  1. The entire building plan of the motel, including fire exits and ventilation shafts.
  2. If there are any more of the thieves in here. 
  3. What they look like.
  4. If the desk clerk is an accomplice. If not, whether or not she can be charged for obstruction because she is _really_ testing his patience. 
  5. How he's going to explain to his boss that he lost track of seven armed individuals who have been evading capture for five months. 



Goro's deliberating if he should quit before he gets fired, when the motel clerk comes back in from her office. She has long, ginger hair, probably the result of a botched, at-home dye. She pushes her glasses up her nose, gives Goro a long, scathing look, then pulls up her desk chair. 

"I can't let you search the motel. Come back with a warrant." She says curtly, typing furiously into her keyboard.

Rolling his eyes, he leans over the desk, flashing her his badge. She raises a dark eyebrow. 

"Is that supposed to mean something? I just said, come back with a warrant." She drawls, examining her bitten-down nails. A crafty smile spreads across her face. "That is, unless you want to _buy_ your time in? It's a pay-by-the-hour kind of thing."

Goro is three minutes away from smashing his head repeatedly against the chipped counter. Instead, he plasters on a pleasant smile and nods. 

"I'm afraid I'll have to decline your offer." He says, gritting his teeth. The clerk shrugs, pushing her glasses up her nose again. 

She can't be more than seventeen. Goro guesses that she's the daughter of the owner and works at the desk for her allowance. She gives him a bored look, then troops back into her office. 

"Unbelievable." He mutters, crossing his arms. 

Turning around to lean his back against the counter, Goro takes in his surroundings. The room is small, with large panes of glass in the walls as windows. He thinks it makes the room look like a glass box. A fan sits atop a filing cabinet, colored paper streaming in front of the propeller. It's pretty hot in here, and it doesn't help that he's still wearing his gloves. 

The automatic doors slide open, and a rather odd group of individuals walk through. Furthest to the left, a short, elegant-looking young woman in a lavender sundress fluffs out her hair. Her arm is linked with a rowdy blonde with a bandaid plastered across his temple, wearing a bleached denim jacket with numerous patches. Goro raises an eyebrow. They are a rather odd pair, to say the least. The third character is a lean, relatively short, young... person in a cat-eared hoodie. They have a yellow bandana wrapped around their neck, their sapphire eyes glinting with mischief. The final figure makes Goro do a double-take, his jaw threatening to slacken. 

He's striking, tall, with a small nick above his left eye. In speculation, it looks fairly new. He wears a dark turtleneck underneath an aviator jacket, a peek of a red bandana poking out of the breast pocket. Their eyes meet, and he cracks a polite smile. It's slightly crooked, but rather charming. Goro smiles back. 

The shortest figure speaks up. "Are you waiting for something?" 

Goro pauses before he speaks. It would be unwise to let it slip that he was working with the police, judging from the Green Day patch on the blonde's jacket. So, he shakes his head. 

"Oh, no. Go ahead." He gestures in front of him, retreating to take a seat on one of the beaten-up leather sofas. 

Cat Hoodie nods and peers over the top of the counter. Their nails are painted black and yellow, and there are a few green bandaids wrapped around their left thumb. 

"Futaba? You back there?" They call out. 

Interesting. The pair must be familiar with each other. Tall Dark and Hansome glances at him, and Goro smiles again. He mentally kicks himself, trying to stay focused on the task at hand. The orange-haired cashier troops back behind her desk, a bowl of cereal in her hands. 

"Yo. Your rooms are 103, 104, 105, and 107." She drones, 

taking a large slurp of Froot Loops. "The minifridge is fully stocked, by the way. We just had a shipment of cranberries and pears." 

Goro taps at his phone, trying to appear inconspicuous. Tall Dark and Handsome takes the keys and passes them out to each person at the desk. Fluffy Hair slides a flashy-looking credit card across the desk. The dark-haired, good-looking one flashes Goro a charming smile, then mutters something to his friends. Cat Hoodie groans and rolls their eyes. Before Goro can react, he's making his way over to him. 

"Hey, there. Have we met before?" He asks, grey eyes glimmering like rain-slicked slate. 

Goro smiles, raising an eyebrow. "I don't think so." 

On the inside, he's repeatedly screaming, _"Please don't recognize me from TV, please don't recognize me from TV."_

"Weird. I just had the strongest déjà vu. I could have sworn I've met you before because I'd never forget a face like yours." He punctuates his words with a wink. 

Goro blinks, his mind struggling to comprehend the atrocity that was the pick-up line that was just used on him. Finally, he gets his vocal cords back in action. 

"Pardon?" Goro squeaks. The dark-haired stranger lets out a melodic laugh. 

He runs a hand through his curly hair. "Sorry, that was a little much, wasn't it? I'm Kurusu Akira." 

He holds out his hand, and Goro takes it, shaking it firmly. "Akechi Goro. That was certainly... Unexpected." 

A million thoughts run through the detective's mind. Will he get fired if he asks this incredibly attractive fool out for drinks on the job? Oh, God, was this a joke? Who raised this complete and utter buffoon, and did they know he would grow up to be this hot? 

_"For the love of God, don't quote philosophers at him."_ His inner voice begs, but alas, Goro's mouth starts before he can stop it. 

"Although, as Heraclitus said, 'If you do not expect the unexpected, you will not find it.' Therefore, I'm glad I've learned to level my expectations, as it just seems to have paid off."

Kurusu blinks, then lets out another melodic laugh, his smile splitting across his face. " _That_ was surprisingly smooth. You even namedropped a philosopher in there, so kudos to you." 

Goro quirks an eyebrow, shifting his weight from one foot to another. " _Surprisingly_? What, did you think I'd act all flustered? I'm insulted, truly."

Cat Hoodie, and the rest of their entourage, troops up the stairs, the yellow doors swinging behind them. Kurusu bites his lip, then runs a hand through his hair again. The result is painfully attractive. Goro clears his throat, shakily bringing a hand to his mouth. 

"I hope I haven't insulted you too badly because I was really hoping to see you later tonight." Kurusu quips, almost sheepishly. "D'you think you can fit in a time slot for mysterious strangers in your busy schedule?" 

Goro tucks a strand of hair behind his ear, praying to whatever God there is out there that his boss won't get wind of this incident, and straightens his posture. 

"Mysterious strangers come first on the priority list. Where did you have in mind?" He smiles at Kurusu with world-class charm he learned from TV interviews. It's super effective! Kurusu stutters a little when he replies, the words tripping over his tongue. 

"A small bar in town. A friend of mine runs it. I could give you my number, or...?" He trails off, his hand drifting to his back pocket. 

Only then does it occur to Goro that he might be sweltering in the aviator jacket and sweater. The pathetic whirring of the fan in the corner is nowhere near as potent as it should be, and Kurusu doesn't seem to be making any move to take his jacket off. 

He banishes the thought from his mind as he starts to think about how the tall young man would look without the hefty jacket. Remembering himself, Goro offers his phone number to Kurusu, then types the latter's number into his contact list. 

Not even an hour goes by before Goro caves and rents a room for a few hours to search the premises. The clerk gives him a goblin-like grin, rubbing her little hands together. Purely for the purpose of spite, he pays in loose change. 

The corridor of rooms is narrow and long, with chipped turquoise paint on each of the doors. It clashes terribly with the bus-seat pattern on the carpet, but, Goro isn't an interior designer, he's a detective, and he's pretty sure the perpetrators he's after are in this building. As he walks down the corridor, checking which doors have Do Not Disturb signs on them, his mind drifts. Of _course_ , his father assigns him the job that the police should really be handling. He huffs out a frustrated sigh, then pauses. Taking a few steps backward, he takes a quick glance through a door that stands slightly ajar, straining his ears to hear what the residents are talking about. 

"Alright, so we know one of them was here earlier." A low voice says, a slight growl in his tone. Goro presses his back to the wall and listens closely. 

A second voice pipes up, soft and light. "And they've left now, have they?"

"Yep. Joker, what's your call? Tonight or tomorrow?" 

There is a silence, then a high-pitched voice rings out. "Alright, then. I'll let Panther and Queen know." 

Goro leans slightly to the right, trying to catch a glimpse of anyone in the room. He is met with a cabinet door standing ajar, blocking anyone from view. He frowns, his hand clenching in frustration. The keys he's holding drop to the floor with a louder noise than expected. 

"What was that?" One of the voices snaps to attention, and Goro flees to find his room, scooping the traitorous keys up from the floor. 

Thankfully, the room is next to the one he's been listening in on, and he hurls himself through the doorframe just as the approaching footsteps reach his hiding place. 

He slumps against the door, his heart thumping loudly in his chest. He was beginning to like this job less and less. 

After obsessively checking the map of the motel in excruciating detail, Goro gives up. His eyes are swimming with lines, floorplans projecting themselves onto every surface he looked at. Sighing, he pulls out his phone from his back pocket, fanning himself with a folded piece of paper. A text from Kurusu glows on his phone, asking him when he wants the address. Cursing, Goro stumbles into the bathroom to fix the mess that is masquerading as his hair, trying to get the voice-to-text on his phone to work. 

"No, not 'I'll sneeze there in fifteen', I'll _be_ there in fifteen." He mutters, opting to just tie his hair up instead of face the hassle. 

The small, grey bubble of dots bouncing pops up for a long time, and eventually, the address appears on his screen. It's a quick walk from the motel, and Goro has the time to change out of his sticky button up.

His mind travels back to the conversation he overheard in the corridor. They must have been using codenames, which was a smart move on their part, but a rookie could have done the same, so they're nothing special. Apart from how they keep evading the police forces set on their trail, the thieves aren't particularly skilled in their trade. They're flamboyant and flashy, always caught in the act but escaping at the last minute.

Goro banishes all thoughts of thievery and police business from his mind, strapping his gun to the back of his belt just in case, and sets out for a very unprofessional, but much-needed date. He only hopes he wouldn't have to use the gun. 

Kurusu sits at the bar, wearing the same high-necked sweater as before. Goro wonders whether or not he's sweltering, but all comments die in his throat as Kurusu shoots him a wink, beckoning him closer to sit down. 

"I'm glad you could make it. I was wondering if you could pull through on that clearance in your schedule." He laughs softly, drumming his fingertips on the side of his glass. "Can I get you a drink?"

Goro smiles. "That would be lovely. I'll have whatever you're having." 

Kurusu raises an eyebrow, smirking. "Are you, now? Can you hold your alcohol?" 

"If you can get me drunk, I'll give you a reward." He jokes, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm no lightweight." 

Kurusu leaned on the bar, a dangerous glint in his eye. "Is that a challenge?" 

"Only if you take it as one, Kurusu." Goro retorted, quirking his lips upward in a sly smile. 

"Oh, come on, now," Kurusu said, leaning his chin on his hand, "You can call me Akira. Can I call you Goro?" 

They talk for a while, the pretty, blonde girl serving them drinks from behind the bar the entire time. She keeps a sapphire eye on Goro, twirling her hair around her finger. Akira clocks it, then, out of seemingly nowhere, he intertwines his hand with Goro's. The detective flushes red but makes no move to remove his hand. Akira leans closer, whispering in his ear. 

"The waitress keeps staring at you." He murmurs. 

Goro swallows. "Oh?" 

Akira grins, running his thumb along his knuckle. "Yeah. It's cute, but I like the idea of having you to myself tonight, not having a stranger eye you like that."

It takes everything in Goro not to die on the spot. Then something clicks together in the mechanism of his mind. He glances up at the waitress, then at the black turtleneck sweater Akira's wearing. Then, he slips into character, placing a hand on Akira's shoulder. 

"If you don't like it, we could head outside?" He offers. 

Akira pauses, looks up at the waitress, and nods, slipping his hand onto the small of Goro's back as they head outside. 

Almost immediately, Akira cages him against the wall, kissing him hungrily. Goro goes along with it, slipping his hands around his waist. As soon as he finds what he's looking for, he breaks away for air, keeping his face close to Akira's. 

"Now, is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me." He whispers. 

Akira chuckles, tracing the outline of the pistol strapped to the back of Goro's back underneath his jacket. "I could say the same for you. So, you're the detective, huh?" 

"Oh, come on, you knew from the beginning," Goro mutters, "You planned all this from the start."

Akira kisses him again, threading his hands through the detective's hair. Caught off guard, Goro leans into it, shocking himself. When Akira breaks away to look him in the eyes, he smirks. 

"Not all of it. I didn't think the detective would be so cute." He quips. 

Rolling his eyes, Goro tries to move for his gun, but Akira steals it away from him with a final kiss before vaulting onto the fire escape above them. Goro curses, fumbling for his phone. The second his call connects to the commissioner's cell, he rattles off the address and the situation, ascending the stairs of the fire escape. 

"He's on the roof. I really need back-up; he's caught me in a compromising situation." He hisses, clambering onto the roof. 

The second he surfaces, the phone is shot from his hand, the glass sparkling as it gets flung from the roof. The sharpshooter grins, standing across from him, a rifle resting on his shoulder. His dark blue hair glistens in the moonlight, half-hidden underneath a kitsune mask. 

Goro curses again, placing his hands in the air. There are eight of them, each wearing a different mask, but he easily recognizes the waitress as one of them. Just as expected. Akira is the only one without a mask, grinning excitedly at him. 

"Damn, detective, you really took your time. We were dropping hints left and right, but you still didn't bite." He laughed, the wind drifting through his hair. 

Goro frowned. "What?" 

A short figure piped up from beside him, a bandana wrapped around their eyes. "What he means is we've been trying to catch your attention for ages. You're just, like, _really_ dense." 

Confused, Goro blinks, trying to refrain from yelling loudly across the rooftops for the sake of his dignity. "What do you mean?"

Then it clicks. The clothing in summer, and how it must be hiding the wounds from the confrontation at the bank; the conversation about Akira knowing the family who owned the bar, but pretending to not know the waitress; the convenient timing for the group to enter the motel; and that _goddamn_ clerk being a complete pain in the ass. They were throwing him lines, throwing him bait, and he just didn't put the pieces together. It was too convenient, but looking back on it now, it would have made this job a lot easier. 

The blonde in the red cat mask sighs, and judging by the hair, Goro thinks she's the waitress. "I literally told you this would happen. We should just grab him and go." 

Another blonde in a skull mask nods. "Yeah! He talks too much. we should just smack him over the head and stuff him in the back." 

"Pardon?" Goro calls out, but is promptly ignored. 

Akira seems to weigh this over, then he nods, taking a small pill from his pocket. He walks over, then smiles like a cat who's got the cream. "You know, this is much better than passing out in the street." 

"What the fuck are you talking ab-" Goro is cut off by Akira kissing him again, slipping the pill into his mouth. 

The blonde in the skull mask pulls a face, sticking his tongue out. 

"It's called recruitment, babe, look it up." The dark-haired young man says, tucking a strand of hair behind Goro's ear. 

He takes this as an opportunity to grab his gun back from where Akira stashed it on his belt and press it to the thief's temple. 

"I won't hesitate to shoot him. Give me straight answers. Immediately." He barks, clicking the safety off. 

"Jesus, okay, okay." The black-haired, short figure in the bandana offers their palms towards the detective. "But Akira said it pretty well. We're recruiting you. Your tactical skills are brilliant, and you're obviously not being paid enough to take on a case meant for the police. You know what they say, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em." 

Akira gives him a nod, then places his hands in his pockets. "You're incredibly skilled in your department, and frankly, your talents are being wasted."

Goro doesn't say anything. In fact, he's having a hard time keeping consciousness, but he does manage to croak out a final "Thank you?" before he passes out.

When he wakes up, the motel's ceiling stares back at him, but from a different angle when he gave up after scouring the floor plan earlier that day. He sits up, rubbing his temple. A note is laid on the dresser, his name written on the front in scrawling cursive, a red Karasu tengu mask sitting next to it. Goro picks it up, examining it curiously. The door creaks open, and Akira stands in the doorway, a white domino mask on his face. He wears a long leather jacket and red gloves, holding a small package wrapped in brown paper. Goro looks at him, then at the package, and slowly accepts it from the thief. 

He always did like pissing his father off. 

**Author's Note:**

> this.... isn't my fave but it does the job hehe


End file.
